Death Wish: Work Visit
by Robin Birdie
Summary: Peter finds himself with a surprise visit from Wade . . . The ex-mercenary causes quite a stir at work, which is up to Peter to resolve.


**Death Wish: Work Visit**

"What are you looking at, Peter?"

Peter gave a small start. He hadn't realised just how lost in thought he had been, as he stared outside the office window in search for a certain lost figure, but Mary Jane had brought him back to reality with surprising speed. It distracted him just enough that he turned his head for a brief moment to search out the source of the sound, but when he looked back – having confirmed that it had been MJ who spoke – he found that the scene outside had changed completely. The hotdog vendor had moved on and the sea of people had changed.

He gave a sigh and pressed a little harder against the windowpane, where he had rested his left hand and forehead, and – as he sighed – he saw the mist of breath upon the cold glass and realised that it was a pointless task searching the crowds for just one face. Their office was simply too high up for a clear view, and that wasn't to mention the heavy workload ahead of him that demanded his full attention. It was set to be a rather boring and tedious day of monotony, but the sooner that he got down to work then the sooner he could go home, and that was a prospect that he rather looked forward to, because there would be Wade. He sighed again and shook his head. No, Wade _wouldn't_ be there, that was the problem.

"I thought I saw Deadpool outside," said Peter.

There was a look of amusement on MJ's expression. It was hard to miss, considering how she had to hide her smile with her hand, so that her second knuckle brushed against her lip and her shoulders gave an almost unperceptible jolt. He always loved to see her happy, but today he couldn't help but pout at her silent laughter. There wasn't anything funny about Deadpool, especially if he was just getting back off a job, and it was even _less_ funny when he just _knew _that he would be expected to take a photograph of the ex-mercenary.

Mary Jane lowered her hand to hold closer to her armful of paperwork, which shifted enough in her grasp that pages ruffled and threatened to fall out of place, but at least none of those documents were for him to file or sort or research. The only good point to being a freelance photographer was the fact he could pick his own workload, as opposed to the heavy set of paperwork that looked quite a burden on MJ. He could see the strain to her arms, as well as the faint flush to her cheeks, but she _loved_ her job, which was more than Peter could say at that moment in time. He loved photography, but he wasn't sure he loved work for the Bugle.

It was then that she walked over to him and looked out the window in turn. She raised her knee to balance her paperwork, so that she could use her right hand to shield her eyes and look out into the city. There wasn't anything of note, which meant that she could return to holding onto her work properly, but she continued to look outside with an almost curious air about her. There was a long moment between them of silence, before she moved back and gave a shrug. A lock of red hair fell awkwardly before her face.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Ordinarily," he answered, as he turned away from the window. "It'd be great if I had seen _Wade, _but Deadpool has been out on a mission for the past week or so, and . . . well . . . he rarely goes on missions anymore, so when he gets back he has this _massive _amount of energy. It's as if he reverts back to being almost . . . _childlike_. He gets hyperactive and starts talking about the days when he used to work as a mercenary, and then he loses what filter he has left!"

"Well, if he's only just back in town, he probably has better places to be." Mary Jane blew hard at the stray lock of red hair. "If I were him, I'd probably get a hot shower and make a good home-cooked meal! No offence, but finding you would be the last thing on my mind."

"I'll bear that in mind the next time you need my help with overtime."

"Speaking of which, we're needed late again tonight."

Mary Jane gave a wink, which would have made her seem quite hip and in control, but that stray lock of hair fell about her face again. It was starting to annoy Peter, so he reached out and pushed it behind her ear on her behalf, and then withdrew his hand to give a rather childish sigh. The truth was that he would rather be out on the streets finding his boyfriend, to prevent him getting into trouble, than to be stuck in the office with his best friend doing overtime that he was in no mood to finish. It would be a long day.

"You shouldn't act so intimately, Peter," she said with a laugh.

"Huh? Why not? We've been friends since before I can even remember," replied Peter. "It's not bothering Sam, is it? You can tell him that if he has a problem with me being friends with his girlfriend, then Fury might have a problem with him borrowing the Quinjet."

"Oh no, it's nothing like that! It's just that you're so _private _about your life outside of work, you know? I mean, you get all those photos of Spider-Man and everyone thinks you're friends with him, but no one can figure out how or why or whether that means you know his secret identity . . . you're kind of the talk of the office! They can see that we're close and they get the wrong idea. The idle gossip is getting annoying."

"Here I thought you lived for gossip," Peter said with a laugh. "Isn't that kind of your job? I would have thought – in comparison – this kind of thing would be pretty trivial to you, I mean didn't you _just_ get back from interviewing one _Tony Stark_? If it helps, I'll try to bring it up casually that I'm already seeing someone."

"Don't forget! Sam came in the other day to see me, but you should have seen the looks they gave him! It was almost like pity, like they thought I was cheating on him or something. I _really_ don't need that kind of reputation, Peter."

"What if you were dating Spider-Man? A photo of an upside-down kiss could –"

"Please, no money in the world is worth _that_!"

Mary Jane pulled a face of absolute disgust, almost as a child would at the prospect of getting 'cooties' from a kiss. It was childish, like the look they had both worn when they had tried to kiss in their early teens, before they had worked out that there really could never be anything between them. Peter was too much like a brother to her, so the idea of any kind of kiss no doubt made her feel a small shudder of revulsion. He didn't take it personally. The truth was that he felt the same way, because MJ was like a sister to him . . . a childhood friend.

It was a second later that she reached out and flicked his forehead. Peter laughed as she struck him pretty hard, because there was just something so funny about the whole scenario, especially when it brought back memories of a few weeks ago when he _had _surprised Wade with just such a kiss. He remembered how his boyfriend had been taking a shortcut down the alleys on a rainy day, and Peter – spotting him from up high – had dropped down with his webs and greeted Wade upside down with a grin behind his mask. It had been awkward, especially as Wade hadn't stopped laughing the entire time, but he remembered how Wade had pushed up – or pulled down, technically – his mask and kissed him in the rain, and how it had been insanely romantic. Peter blushed at the memory of it.

"Peter, you're blushing! Did Spider-Man kiss Wade that way?"

"Er, maybe? Too bad I couldn't get a photo of that, huh? 'Superhero Kisses Ex-Mercenary'! It would have been a headline to remember, wouldn't it? Not that your career needs a further boost; you're starting to get more famous than I am, and I'm Tony Stark's son!"

"Not to mention that Wade hates having his photo taken, anyhow."

"Well, I have methods to convince him."

Peter tried to hide his nervousness behind a cough, but it somehow only exaggerated his embarrassment and made him blush all the more. He moved quickly away from the window, with his back slightly hunched as he continued to rub at his mouth nervously, and he wandered over to his desk and sat down right behind a stack of papers. It wasn't long before MJ ran over with a laugh and stood before him in somewhat silence, as if expecting him to give more details and some real gossip, but he could never betray Wade's trust that way.

It was a moment later when he looked up to see that she had moved. He spun around in his chair, but she wasn't behind him, and when he spun around again he saw her on the other side of his desk with her arms folded on the desktop. The paperwork that she had been holding was now stuck on _his_ desk, next to _his _work, and he could see the devilish look in her eyes and knew that she was in no mood to work and more in the mood to play. MJ was usually so professional, but it was a slow news day and it wasn't often that they both shared the same shifts and were in the office at the same time. He gave her a stern warning gaze.

There was a brief second later before he reached over to flick him again, but he pushed his chair back out of her reach. MJ never backed down from a challenge when she saw one, so she came around the table to flick again, before he pushed down along a row of desks and over to the windows. He lifted his hands as if to dare her. MJ laughed and ran down to get him, before they found themselves engaged in a game of tig, and not long after the two of them were sat on the floor laughing to the point of tears.

Their fun ended with a loud scream from afar . . .

"What was that?" MJ asked.

"It sounded like someone was screaming."

"Do you think you have time to grab your camera?" MJ stood up slowly and carefully. "If something is going on, right inside the offices of the _Daily Bugle _itself, then we have a duty to record it for the public to see! Come on, I think it came from my department!"

"MJ? MJ! We can't – just wait – I mean -! _Ugh_!"

Peter gave chase after his best friend.

He half-expected some sort of surprise party or a prank, because the worst thing in the world would be for there to be some sort of attack on the _Bugle _when his costume was at home, but perhaps he could call for his father or one of the Avengers to help? It only took him a few minutes to follow MJ into the set of offices nearby, where there seemed to be a huge crowd of people all gathered about the open set of windows. Peter tried to push through, but it took longer than he would have hoped. It's as if they _tried_ to be unhelpful.

It was only when he pushed his way to the front of the crowd that he saw it: _Deadpool_. He was being hit on the head over and over by one of their older editors, who must have had bricks in her bag judging by his boyfriend's winces and groans, and yet he could see that Deadpool was hanging on by a _very_ thin thread. The last thing he wanted was for Deadpool to grow annoyed or agitated by what was happening, because that would likely end up in guns being removed from their holsters and threats made . . . it would end up in outright panic, with police involved and the Avengers getting alerted. Panic never helped anyone.

Deadpool was dressed in his full uniform, but whatever he had done had left him in a rather spoiled state, so that his outfit was ripped and torn all over, although – luckily – not quite as indecently as a few times in the past. There was a deep slash over his chest, where his skin appeared red with blood, and yet most of his wounds appeared healed and only faint scars remained. The cancer looked bad, however, so that his skin was a mass of lumps . . .

"It's – it's okay! I know him!"

"He just _dove in _through the window," one of his co-workers snapped. "He looks like one of those supervillains! Look, he has guns and swords and -! Peter, you're going to vouch for this freak? If he's any trouble at all, it's your ass getting fired!"

"Hey, you leave my Petey alone, dick-bag!" Deadpool snapped. "I'll have you know – _hey, stop fucking hitting me, woman_! Okay, where was I? Yeah! You go get Irene, she'll vouch for me! Okay, so I _may_ have killed someone, but I solved the crime and figured out that I killed them, and that was before the holes in my mind were filled up! It was not my fault! I'm all good now! I'm part of the X-Men and an Avenger! Petey! _Petey, _back me up!"

"I – I can vouch for him," Peter insisted. "Just - ! Just everyone give us some space! He's clearly hurt and there's no reason to gawk and stare. He's not a threat, I swear! I – you can – you can all get back to work! _Come on, Deadpool_! We'll – we'll just be next door, if anyone needs us, but he won't be here long, I promise!"

"Aw, getting rid of me already? That's hardly fair when I –"

"Tell me in a minute," Peter mumbled.

He grabbed Deadpool's wrist and began to pull him away. It was a gentle touch, because the material around his wrist felt damp and unpleasant, which made him believe that his cancer wounds had begun to weep, because any physical wounds would have healed by now. He led the way through the crowd, which now parted almost like the sea for Moses, and he could hear the gossip begin almost immediately. It left him with a sudden sense of empathy for MJ, because – if this was what gossip felt like – it was no wonder it annoyed her!

They quickly made their way down the hall and into the photography department, where his desk and 'office' were located, and Peter quickly ushered Deadpool into his chair and made sure to reach down to lock the wheels in place. Deadpool made a joke about Peter going 'down' when he reached to pull the lever, but he ignored him with a sigh and simply sat on the edge of the desk to cast his eyes over Deadpool's body. He had to make sure that he wasn't hurt. It was true that he couldn't die, but he could still feel pain and he could still suffer, and the very idea of the man he loved suffering for even a moment was unbearable. It was his duty to protect Deadpool. He owed it to him to see to his wounds.

"Are you guys okay in here?" MJ asked.

He looked up to see Mary Jane closing the door behind her and a co-worker of theirs, who Peter had seen around occasionally and yet never gotten to remember the name. MJ gently closed the door behind her, whilst their colleague came over to the desk and shook Deadpool's hand, and – if Peter remembered correctly – this was the guy that had the fascination for superheroes and mutants. He watched tentatively and slightly possessively, whilst the guy leaned against the desk and smiled down at Deadpool.

"Er, yeah, we're fine. I think?"

"Yeah, we're all good," said Deadpool. "Well, aside from the bruises on my head, because – _damn _– that lady could hit hard! I think she thought I was a burglar or something, but what fucking burglar climbs into one of the busiest buildings in New York in broad daylight? I mean, come on -! I'm crazy, yeah, but I'm not bloody insane! How is it my fault that the mission finished whilst Petey was at work? I wanted to surprise him! Okay, so _who_ is this guy anyway? It's weird to be watched like that. It's like the start of a bad porno."

"He's one of my co-workers and a friend of MJ's."

"Chad from accounting?"

"_No_."

Peter used his strength to force the chair closer to him. He had to blush a little, because – yeah – it was odd to be watched by his friend and a friend of said friend, but he had to remind himself that Deadpool was dressed in his famed uniform and drenched in blood. It would be natural for people to be a little curious, although he couldn't help but resent the extra attention upon him, especially as he knew that everyone would bombard these two with questions when everything was over. He just wanted to speak to Deadpool alone.

The two of them had settled into something of a routine over the years, so that whenever one of them was injured from a fight that the other would take care of them, and very rarely did they have cause to break their routine. Peter just wanted to strip the tattered uniform from him and cleanse him of the blood and grime with a warm bath, before carefully assessing each wound and massaging oils to soothe his skin, but those kind of intimacies existed only behind closed doors and in locked rooms. He instead reached out to stroke Deadpool's cheek through his mask, before he smiled as the older man nuzzled into the touch and let out a low groan of appreciation. Peter smiled despite himself and carefully looked over his body.

"Are you hurt?"

"Nope! I just went out to find you a present," said Deadpool. "I couldn't find any flowers and I may have eaten the chocolates on my way over, but I figured that a romantic visit would be just as good! Let me whisk you away, baby boy? I have a whole day of fun planned!"

"I – I have so much work to do, Wade! I can't just take time off to hang with my boyfriend –"

"Hey, this guy is your _boyfriend_?"

Deadpool stood up to his feet and gave a dark smile. It was clear through the mask that he wore, but somehow that made him seem all the more dangerous when he turned to look at the man with what must have been a dangerous glare. He swayed just a little, enough that he appeared to have lost some blood or was perhaps just a little angry at the idea someone might have a problem with their love, and so Peter stood up at once beside him. Peter pressed his hands firmly against his boyfriend's chest. He tried not to blush at the touch.

"Yeah, me and Petey are an item," Deadpool snapped. "That a problem?"

"No, not at all," said the man, who raised his hands in surrender. "You guys actually look pretty cute together. It's the first time I've ever seen Peter looking so natural and relaxed, but I just didn't realise that Peter was gay. I could have sworn that he was dating Mary Jane."

"This again?" Mary Jane interrupted. "You are aware that said Mary Jane is standing right here? Not to mention the simple fact that I've been dating Sam since high school. It's so juvenile! It's like this primitive mentality that men and women can't be friends, that there has to be _something_ going on, and anyway -! Peter isn't gay. He's bisexual. The way he checks out Ava when he thinks she's not looking, it's so totally obvious! You're way too black-and-white about these things, Andrew."

"Hey, can you blame me? It's not as though I know much about Peter. He's always researching Stark technology whenever he's not here, or locked away in his apartment, but I guess now I can see why! Er – listen – I don't know if you've both comfortable about this, but if Deadpool is comfortable without his mask, a group of us were heading out after work. MJ said she was bringing a date, so you could always bring . . . Wade, was it?"

"Sure!" Deadpool shouted. "If you guys let Petey have the rest of the day off!"

"Wade, I _can't _just take the day off," Peter said. "I have to –"

"Say cheese!" MJ said.

Peter barely had time to turn around. It felt like at once that Deadpool's arms were wrapped around his waist, as the ex-mercenary nuzzled his masked face against the side of his neck, which caused Peter to blush a little and look nervously to his boyfriend. He felt the material of the mask against his lips, whilst Deadpool pressed his body tightly against his own, and suddenly he felt very aware that he had two pairs of eyes upon him, although he was more aware of the sudden burst of light that came a second later. He blinked away the after-image.

"What was that?" Peter asked.

"MJ just got the scoop of the century!" Deadpool said with a laugh. "I can just see the headlines now, can't you? 'Masked Mercenary Makes-Out with Millionaire Man'! You got to have alliteration! It's not a headline without alliteration! Can we go now?"

"Yep!" MJ answered. "I think a scoop like that deserves a day off!"

"Y-you can't run that!" Peter snapped.

It was then that Deadpool spun him around and pressed a masked kiss to his mouth, which was more uncomfortable than romantic. There was another flash of light and suddenly MJ had another photo to go with her by-line, and he could only hope that she didn't actually run with the article and that it was all just a joke, because Deadpool still had enemies out there that might want to cause trouble for the 'normal' Peter Parker or his loved ones. He sighed against the kiss and tried not to frown too much.

Peter tried to form some semblance of an argument, as he lifted his hands and rested them against his boyfriend's chest, before Deadpool wrapped his hands around his back and began to give a low and deep rumbling laugh. It was only a moment later when he felt Deadpool pull away, before he grabbed his wrist hard enough to almost bruise, before he then started to drag Peter at a running pace to the door. He spluttered and tried to argue back, but MJ and their co-worker were both laughing too hard for them to hear him properly, and – when they finally got to the door – Deadpool locked his arms around Peter's waist and lifted him off the ground, effectively blocking his chance at running away.

"Have a good date, guys," MJ called out. "Don't get into too much trouble!"

"We totally will!" Deadpool shouted back. "Trouble is fun!"

Peter shook his head in disbelief at this 'surprise' date.

"You're so lucky I love you," he muttered.


End file.
